Simon Cowell is risking his place in the modern pantheon of Britishness
by Max Wind-Cowie
The unceremonious firing of Cheryl Cole from the American X Factor knocked even Barack Obama off the front pages last week. Our Geordie princess, wounded heroine of a thousand tabloid kiss-and-tell melodramas, was given the boot as American audiences struggled to comprehend her dulcet, regional tones. According to one Sunday newspaper a focus group brought in to pass judgment on the early rushes of American X Factor, asked TV bosses the killer question – ‘Why doesn’t she sound like Kate Middleton?’ It seems that the much famed US soft spot for all things British does not extend far beyond those of us whose accents have been molded into the clear, accent-less RP taught by public schools and RADA alike.
No doubt Cheryl will recover from this latest blow to her dignity. After all, she has forged her career on her ability to pick herself up from one humiliating blow after another. But the repercussions of her dismissal will be felt for far longer. The end of Simon Cowell’s love affair with Cheryl Cole could well mark the end of Britain’s love affair with him.
Cowell’s success in capturing the British imagination is not to be underestimated. In the course of researching my forthcoming report on patriotism in modern Britain, Cowell’s name and his brands were mentioned to me time and again by Brits looking for things to be proud of. His shows are a national religion. His personality (or persona) is now so established that he was identified by our focus groups as key to how the world judges and understands Britain – ranking higher than David Cameron and only marginally lower than William Shakespeare. And his efforts, deserving of praise, to spread a kind of popular patriotism through his shows have developed in us a sense that he and his protégés really do embody (as he so often claims) ‘the best of British’. British people, in short, have not just bought Cowell’s products and watched his shows they have adopted him as a symbol of modern Britain – an ambassador of sorts for Britishness.
But I fear that, in allowing Cheryl to be dumped so unkindly, Cowell may just have thrown it all away. Partly this is because leaving her to the dogs undermines part of his perceived use. As one of our focus group participants told us – ‘I suppose he does represent Britain, but also he introduces British stars to the rest of the world, like he’s doing with Cheryl Cole’. No longer can he so easily cast himself as the protector and advocate of all things wholesome and British, having chosen the unmistakably American Paula Abdul over the nation’s sweetheart. What is worse, Cowell’s behaviour has offended a key component of Britain’s sense of itself – the idea that we abide by a vague but powerful notion of ‘fair play’. By luring Cheryl with the promise of his protection and support, then breaking ignobly those promises, Simon has offended our national sense of what’s cricket. Finally, Cowell has danced dangerously with the still-powerful anxiousness about class than remains deep in the British soul. We are less proud of our class than once was the case but we are no less alive to discrimination on its basis. Rumours that Cheryl Cole was encouraged to imitate the clipped RP that Americans wanted to hear inspire two-fold anger in us; one, that she should be so treated simply because of her origin and two, that she should be asked to pretend. We may no longer take great pride from our class origins but the British still loathe pretension and self-invention almost more than any other social sin.
Simon Cowell has, unknowingly, trodden on a great many modern British sensibilities in his abandonment of Cole. When coupled with a natural desire to see chivalry done – especially when the done-too is a young woman of renowned vulnerability – he has entered truly dangerous territory. Cowell’s shows are successful, in part, because of his personality and his narrative: He embodied the firm but fair British approach and his success overseas displayed something of ourselves to the world. His shows both reinforce our shared social fabric by bringing us together and they inspire a sense of patriotism by appearing to promote the good we see in ourselves. By dumping Cheryl to impress foreign friends Simon Cowell is not merely jeopardising his place in her heart – he’s risking all of our affection too.
Max Wind-Cowie
So......... Probably shouldn't mention that I'm writing this reply in front of Britain's Got Talent.
Thing is Malcolm, whether you admire these TV shows or not is kind of besides the point. For good or for ill they are significant, shared cultural experiences in the UK. They have made Simon Cowell a very, very famous man and he was raised in our focus groups as a symbol of modern Britain - on account, mostly, of his multinational fame which means that he is perspective as representing something about 'Britishness' (again, good or bad) to millions of Americans. The public seem to have a mostly positive view of him and have, thus far, bought into his narrative about bringing 'the best of British' to our TV and my point - shallow as you may well think it is - is that by risking his 'patriotic' image and dumping a British star in favour of an American he may be undoing his grip on our collective imagination. Sorry it offends you so - my only advice would be not to turn on ITV for the rest of the week, I'm afraid it's rather Cowell heavy at the mo.
Malcolm Rasala
Sorry Max. This argument is silly and unsupported.
Firstly, check out how tv viewing figures are arrived at. Around 1000 homes have a box which supposedly records what people watch (you could have the tv with no one watching - how many was that people watching - O lets say 4). Have you one of these boxes? Do you know, have you ever met anyone who has one of these boxes? Check this out. The way these figures are compiled is very very suspicious. And then extrapolated into millions. Anything to do with advertising revenue do you think? Do you trust the advertising industry to tell the truth. Ditto in America? Please investigate the way TV figures are compiled. You will be shocked!
But for your arguments sake lets pretend the figures are legitimate. So what. Millions mastubate. Would you quantify this aa a shared
experience. Why are people who watch the same tv programme a shared experience. Many do it largely on their own in front of a screen - watch tv that is. Come to think of it many watch porn. Is this a shared experience? What are we to extrapolate from millions watching porn - a cultural phenomena?
If millions across the world watched the same girl or guy having sex on say a British porn site would you say this is a 'significant shared cultural experience in the UK' And of what import or significance is this?
Peter Sutcliffe is a 'very very famous man'. Jack the Ripper was. Are they symbols of modern and historial Britain? The argument postulating a temporary PR blip fostered by the Red Tops has any
deep importance is naive and silly. Simon Cowell has no 'grip on our collective imagination'. He is the Hughie Green of his time. Where is Hughie Green now. Who remembers him. Ask 100 people on the street of the cultural importance of Hugh Green or in America Johnny Carson in the States.
Sorry Max I am sure you are a well meaning guy. But you are falling for the hype. We now learn than the whole Cheryl Cole saga is a made up PR stunt. You will be telling us next that this 'sick' joke thought up by Cowells PR team has 'cultural significance'. If you seriously think most people do not see this trash - like heads that turn at a car crash - you seriously underestimate the intelligence of your fellow man. Talk about fallinghead line and sinker for the PR hype and highly suspect viewing figures. You need to get out more my friend!
Joanne Leech
I do not understand your argument Max. There are 60+ million people in this country. We are told, without supporting evidence, that around 10 million people watch Britains Got Talent. If my maths is correct this is 20% of the British population. So 80% of Britain does not watch Britains Got Talent. But you claim they prove Britishness. Not a very strong argument if 4 out 5 do not watch something to argue it is a 'cultural experience'. You will be telling us next that Charles Windsor represents modern Britain!
In America the figures work even more against you. Population of America 300 million. Numbers claimed to watch Cowell shows at tops
30 million. So one in ten Americans watch one of his progammes; 90% of Americans do not. 90%. How can you argue his 'Britishness' means anything whatsoever when 90% of Americans do not watch him and probably have never even heard of him. Your argument must have been written by Max Clifford. Or are you employed by Syco?
Mark Macho
Max, there is room here for the old distinction between Fame
and popularity. We still read and perform Shakespeare centuries
after his death. We may be watching Cowell reruns many years from now, but I doubt it, for other low and middling talents will
stalk the planet.
Can you name the most popular pub in Shakespeare's London, or the
most famous clothes designer of the Regency or even the most famous producer of the Beijing operas that wowed millions in the world's biggest country for hundreds of years. Thought not.
Fame was never about mob rule. And you can be an ardent democrat
without thinking even majority choices are right or bestowing Fame.
Max Wind-Cowie
Ok, two things before I launch into a haphazard defence of myself.
1. Thank you all for your comments and....
2. Sorry for not replying earlier.
Firstly, I don't think I've ever claimed that most people watch X Factor or Britain's Got Talent so I'm not sure where all the disputing of figures comes from. What I do say, and stand by, is that Simon Cowell's shows are very popular, are well known and understood by even those who don't watch them, and represent something of a shared culture experience. None of which mean I approve - although, as a gay man who's very much of the petite bourgeoisie I should probably admit that I kinda love them. I'm not suggesting that Simon Cowell ought - on the basis of his fame - be appointed to anything or enshrined as anything, I'm merely attempting to explore the way in which his fame has been linked (in the minds of some of our focus groups) with ideas of Britishness. I believe this is something he's played on very successful - using his shows to promote charities that are also linked to Britishness in the public's consciousness (such as Help For Heroes) and talking near incessantly about his acts as 'the best of Britain'. Our focus groups also gave us a lot of insight into people's sensitivities around class discrimination and a sense that 'patriots stick up for Britain' - thus my observation that firing Cheryl for her accent and replacing her with an American may damage his reputation.
Perhaps, with hindsight, I ought to have made something very clear at the top of my piece though. This is not the most important thing on Earth, nor is it a lifechanging revelation that British people tend to like Simon Cowell but might not like him in the future. I find it interesting, but I accept unreservedly that this interest is not share by all.
Garry White
Max: what has you being a 'gay man' got anything to do with this argument about Simon Cowell? Or are you trying to tell us something about Cowell many suspect. Focus groups...pleeease!!! Anybody who has sat in on a focus group knows what largely silly policy making structures they are. The entire advertising industry uses focus groups. Result tv commerciasl that defy imagination with their inanity and boredom. Focus groups, golly, is this the level of your thinking process. Very sad
Malcolm Rasala
Is this banal or what? To claim a momentary self aggrandizing reality show host means anything about anything is so unintelligent as to warrant total derision. Do you seriouslt think Cowell will be remembered for anything in ten years time let alone one hundred? He hosts musically challenged nobodies largely making a fool of themselves to the credulous. It is low brow nothingness reduced to a new lower order of crassly sick entertainment. The only thing we should take from Cowell's walking the planet is amazement at how cheap and tacky some humans have to stoop to gain publicity for their sad little existence. He is an embarrassment to humanity.